A little humor

Got this in email today. There's something here to irritate pretty much everybody. Enjoy... WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?? BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on h is 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they ca ll it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .... reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Belated Birthday fun

A belated Washington chapter meeting of Denizennes was held at the local shootin' range Tuesday night. Bad Cat Robot provided a customized birthday gift, so that I could practice shooting at dangerous predators! Sadly, not all my shots were kill shots, but I think it's safe to say that This predator won't be hurting anyone soon ... heh!

Good Question

Favorite helicopter pilot and Castle Denizen, BillT, shares a good story from Iraq. If anyone can answer Hussan's question, I want to know the response.

Sgt B has been Busy!

Blog brother Sgt B of The Gun Line has obviously been kicked by his muse. He had left his series on preparation for deployment hanging at Chapter 2: Movement to Training, but he has not neglected his writing, and just needed to kick the blog demons into submission. Today he adds many new chapters in the series - you owe it to yourself to visit and catch up on your reading!

My family has grown!

The new entry in my sidebar is my BlogSon Sned, who just started his blog yesterday. Please go visit and welcome him to the blogosphere! Welcome, Sned!!

No Real Surprise

My favorite Republican candidate of the field, and the best Conservative, in my opinion, is no longer in the race. Fred Thompson has announced his withdrawal from the race for the oval office. I could see the writing on the wall, especially after South Carolina, so I wasn't surprised to see the actual notice. But still, I'm bummed. So I reviewed the remaining candidates and concluded that I have to line up along with my friend Francis Marion, and throw my support to Mitt Romney. He's had some experience at turning this around, and has been an Executive in both the public and private sectors, and with the Congress we have now, he's going to need all of it. If any of you who have been Fred supporters are aiming in another direction, I would love to hear Who and Why. There's still a lot of Primary / Caucus activity to happen yet, and things are still up in the air.

Li'l bits

Yes, I know posting has been light almost non-existent around here for a while. Deal with it. But I have been trying to keep up on reading, and in finding interesting things, I decided to share. My friend Atheist Crusader has some comments regarding Congress and the Religion of Pieces. In the H&I post yesterday at Castle Argghhh, FbL pointed out an important note from Soldiers' Angels. To wit: No Slump for our Troops. "Soldiers' Angels commit to sending support to our troops all year long, not just at the holidays, or around certain patriotic holidays. Troop rotations mean we have a lot of new troops signing up with us, but the slump means we don't have as many people signing up to adopt them. If you are currently an angel, can you adopt another? If you have never adopted, why don't you give it a try? If you are a blogger, can you help spread the word? Our troops deserve our support, and we don't want to keep them waiting." Spread the word, and take up the challenge. If you want alternatives, go check out AnySoldier or any of the other support organizations I have listed at the right.

Nice Tribute

Sgt Hook points to a wonderful site which honors all who are serving and who have served ... Soldier Wall. Visitors can add their own photos and highlights, and there is even a search function to see if your servicemember has been posted. I've added a few good people, and as soon as I scrounge up some more images, I'll be adding others. Go check it out.

Pretty close

Since the political season is heavy upon us, I snagged this quiz on political likeness from Uncle Jimbo over at Blackfive ... the results are not bad. Except for the fact that the outdated info still has Tancredo in it, it pretty much nailed my top choices. 83% Fred Thompson 81% Mitt Romney 80% Tom Tancredo 74% John McCain 64% Mike Huckabee 60% Rudy Giuliani 52% Ron Paul 30% Bill Richardson 30% John Edwards 29% Hillary Clinton 28% Joe Biden 24% Barack Obama 23% Chris Dodd 20% Mike Gravel 13% Dennis Kucinich 2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz I'm a little concerned about the 13% congruency with Kucinich, though ... I might need an intervention!

What he said

Having just exercised my 2nd Amendment rights only yesterday, in the cheery company of fellow denizenne Bad Cat Robot, I found myself nodding in agreement with Lex. "Just remember that when it comes to protecting your individual right to life - the most profound right, upon which all others depend - the constabulary can only obliquely contribute. They are not designed to prevent your murder, only to punish it. When the bad man comes, and seconds count, they will be only minutes away." As always ... go read the rest.

Merry Christmas!

Wherever you are, be safe and take care of each other. My thoughts today are especially with the ones in harm's way or preparing to head there - Allie, Sgt B, Jason, Sgt Hook, Sean and many others. Make sure to catch John's Christmas round the world, and read Bill's reminder of why good people don uniforms and go where they go. And Thank Goodness that they do! Merry Christmas, All!!

Travel memories

I was catching up on the travel adventures of Kim and Connie du Toit, and found myself laughing out loud at the challenge of finding the way to their hotel in Vienna. ...But once in the city itself? Oy. The famous “Ringstrasse” is in fact a one-way (clockwise), and just because you can turn right easily into the Innestadt (inner city)—when it’s not a one-way out, that is—doesn’t mean you can get anywhere, because your street is likely to dead-end into a pedestrian walkway, or you’ll be forced into a T-junction with only a left- or right-hand turn (but never both). Getting lost, in an area half the size of Central Park, is easily done. After an hour of frustration, we finally gave up, found a parking place (also no small feat), and walked the last four blocks to the hotel. When we showed the receptionist a map of where we’d parked, and asked her to help us get our car to the hotel, she replied (and this is the quote of the trip so far): “I know exactly where your car is; I just don’t know how you got it there.” Pause. ”Or how to get it out.” ... I could completely sympathize, as it was awfully similar to my own experience a few years ago. When I wrote about the long day's drive from Venice, Italy to Zurich, Switzerland (by way of Schloss Neuschwanstein), there were some missing details. My brief description then : Unfortunately, we had to wait 90 minutes until the next available tour. It was definitely worth it - but it made for a LONG day, as we didn't get into Zurich until about 9, and then couldn't find our hotel! The REST of the story, as they say, is much funnier. You see, I had a laptop with me for that vacation, on which I installed 'Auto Route'. That's the European version of Streets and Trips, and with it I had mapped all of our inter-city driving routes, from Geneva to Lausanne to Florence, then on to Venice, and the big final day of driving from Venice to Zurich. We were staying one last night there, as our international flight home was early the next morning. That mammoth drive was actually a lot of fun. At one point, in the southern Germany countryside, we were weaving our way through small villages in an attempt to catch a highway and make speed into Zurich. My head would bob up to catch a marker or mile post, and then I'd try to correlate to the map on the screen, and warn of turns and roads to watch for. At one point I told the Hubster that we would pass through a village and then turn. As we pulled into the village, he said "Are you sure? Because the whole line of cars behind us ... turned left half a mile back." Huh. Sure enough - technology hadn't quite caught up to the roads, and the locals had taken a turn I didn't even show on the map. So we wheeled around, caught up with the gang, and found the highway. Until it ended 10 miles later. Oh, well. But the topper of the evening was arriving (at 9pm, well after dark in September) in Zurich. The roads didn't look quite like the turns that the computer told me would lead to the hotel, which I had found in the resident database of the program. As we turned off the route a few blocks too early, and tried in vain to re-sync ourselves with the map, the conversation went something like this... Me: What's the cross street? Hubster: Most of these streets don't seen to have signs! Me: Well, here's a major street - is there a sign? Hubster: It says 'B-something-Strasse'. Me: Oh, Hell! They're ALL 'B-something-Strasse'!!! And so on. For an hour. We drove around getting more lost, and the only saving grace was (A) there is a river, which kind of sets some nice boundaries, and (B) we found the train station. Finally, we struggled up some streets which didn't really look promising, to the address that we had been seeking. Except we were in the wrong place. Because that database of hotels? Was out of date - and the place we found wasn't the place we wanted. *sigh* But the good news is that the nice people there knew how to find the right place. It was 5 minutes away, and we finally found it. It was 10pm at this point, and we were starving, having been driving like maniacs for nearly 5 hours. Bless the management - the restaurant was still open! Wheeee! I don't think the Hubster will ever let me live down my little episode with the laptop map. By the way - we're headed to Vienna next spring. I'll be reading the rest of the adventures of Connie and Kim very closely !! But I'll still be taking a laptop, with maps on it ... I'm not curable.